FCK – Eintracht: Schlachtzeit mit Gruppenkuscheln

Der große Tag ist gekommen, der Frankfurter Mob schiebt sich nach Kaiserslautern. Vorneweg marschieren die Bannerträger im Takt der Trommler dahinter, es folgen die kampfbereiten Krieger. Das große Schlachten kann beginnen.
Völlig ungewiss ist derweil, wieviele auf Frankfurter und Kaiserslauterer Seite überleben werden und ob das Dorf stehen bleiben wird. Über die genaue Stärke der Truppen wurde die Öffentlichkeit im Unklaren gelassen. Nato-Truppen und GSG 9 sichern das Schlachtfeld. Die Medien haben ihre Kriegsberichterstatter eingeflogen, RTL streicht die Wiederholungen von Die Supermissgeburt und der Restaurantschule für Asoziale des nervigen Schwachmaten Rach und lässt stattdessen Peter Klöppel live ins Studio. In Kaiserslautern und Frankfurt selbst sollen mehrere Repoprter vor Ort sein, so dass Klöppel seinen 9/11-Dauermoderation-Rekord brechen könnte. Auch Antonia Rados ist vor Ort, ersten Berichten zufolge gehört der Islam auch zu Kaiserslautern, die Stadt schwitze vor Angst.
Wir melden uns wieder und fordern bis dahin: Machen wir aus dem Schlachtfest ein munteres Gruppenkuscheln! Und die werten Gesetzeshüter können den Schlagstock mal positiv stimulierend einsetzen.

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